A letter to begin again.

Hello again; I seem to have found myself in another bind. I am caught between sorrow-filled expression, and a clawing repressive state that I so fear. Why must this trap be of such a great weight, whose gravity seems so inescapable. 

If I might stop to appreciate the stillness, a storm erupts.

If I do feel peace, around the corner is death.

If I could imagine a misery, it would be born.

How low must I be trapped if all there is to be done is to leave. The door never fully closes, even if open just a sliver, it will make itself known. This sliver will then rot, becoming infected and pink it will claw its way from the corner of my vision until I can not see another thing. My vision encroached upon, my thoughts no longer avoidant; I believe. What I tried to silence is no longer meek, it is a beast! Teeth gnashing, maw agape so wide that I can see acid bubbling. Take me in, widdle me away until nothing but bones are left. Soft tissue erodes; calcified remains.

I prayed for relief to a god of my own creation, one I made to save me from this terror; a god who battles against the rippling fear. They are of my own, bred to purify. So perfect a creation it was, and yet, once again, it fell upon the sword I seemed to be born impaled upon. The point birthed in splatter, the edge made melded onto flesh. I gazed down on something so much greater than myself, and still it crumbled to acrid dust.

Can you imagine the malaise I felt at that moment? So tall I had thought; so low I was brought. Cheek to curb, gravel rubbed deeply into every unstitched wound. A pathetic creature was born again at that moment, some sort of undying beast who seems to be cursed to endure an eternal cycle of bloody birthing.

Welcome to whatever misery I have found.

Hallow be thy name of whoever might succeed this.

Roughened hues do entertain the crowds though, do they not?